To be fair he does sound like a doormat I dont think he will end the relationship bevore the wedding, maybe after a few years of a unhappy mariadge. It was infuriating and that was just a case of bad luck. Theyre all examples of toxic masculinity. Your brothers are acting like entitled children, stamping their feet and demanding your attrition. NTA they are bullies and dont deserve to be near you or your fianc. A girl I know died because she was alone in her hotel room and couldn't reach her inhaler. Frankly, who cares if they respect Tim, the question is, does Tim respect them? If I sat there and let one of my weird relatives bully him, or god forbid, put his life in danger, (say, for example, by hiding an important medical device like an inhaler) hed be fully justified in running for the damn hills. What they did is unacceptable. A semester later and he said I had to pay for the full amount because I wasn't getting straight A's, which was true because I was exhausted. Who would want to marry into a family where you're constantly tested based on toxicly masculine standards. You dont need any of them in your life. You are NTA for sticking up for your fiance, but you will be if you let them into your wedding and don't go low/no contact. Hiding lifesaving medicine? The blaming is another form of abuse (like aftershocks from an earthquake). Instead he has a lot of grit to put up with these AHs. That was about two years ago, fast forward to now. NTA. These men are absolute Neanderthals! OP, the men in your family are the living definition of toxic masculinity. Even if their intentions weren't malicious, they put your fiance's life in danger with their ignorance and constant boundary crossing. Please evaluate whether you want them in your life. NTA. I'd pick stepdad, he chose to be family. If you listen to your mom and re-invite them, you don't deserve your fiance. I am sure they have along with the mother. 3 months from diagnosis to dead. That's alright up bullying. Not slashing tires or stealing medication. What happens when they want to start testing the manliness of a child and start with these pranks? Edit: my dad doesnt expect me to not invite my mom to my wedding. NTA. Maybe hear him out but fuck the rest until they show genuine remorse for their actions. Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. She has a shitty family and needs to go to therapy to unlearn the unhealthy dynamic she grew up in. Dont let any of those family members ruin an extremely special day between you and Tim. They all seem to think you wood be more concerned about what they think of your fianc than what he thinks of them. There is no pranking involved. They do realize you could charge them for the majority of these pranks (read: crimes), right? How he didnt dip after that I just dont understand. It isn't easy to do; it isn't easy to learn when to do it. Absolutely none of this is "good natured fun". If someone slashed my tires they are paying or i am calling the police.the men in your family are immature bullies. But not to everyone. Conditional NTA depending on how you behave from now on. This. Who makes them the judge of what is a good man? NTA, but your fiance deserves a better woman. That wasnt a prank. My stepdad and I have a very good relationship. They are too manly to go to the wedding. And also tell them that this little habit stops here. I think you had every right to call them out and univite them; their response says it all. I actually disagree with everyone who says you're not the asshole because you very clearly are. Like men. Who slashes tyres as a prank? less likely to seek out mental healthcare, source: 40+ years of experience at the sharp end, and a couple of dozen responses to "Help! I call it either attempted murder or criminally malicious death. NTA. No amount of masculine hobbies excuses that. I had a ton of brothers and a dad who were all involved in fishing, hunting, survival, etc. Small people feel the need to put other people down. This is childish. My dads girlfriend at the time started getting more and more demanding. Its a messy situation and it will most likely be a rocky marriage as your family set the tone for it with their nonsense trying to test your partners manliness. Sounds like he's put up with so much already for your sake. Hiding an inhaler can cause DEATH. How can four people be so fucked in the head to think it is acceptable to hide much-needed medication from someone?! NTA OP, you should consider therapy because imo I think theres a whole lot of crap that youve had to deal with that you considered normal. Who cares about their opinions of your husband to be? Hiding an inhaler when away from home could be fatal. If they don't go NC, I can definitely see cousins bullying her children for being "soft" because their dad and grandpa said Uncle Tim is soft, too. This is curious that your siblings are not on your side . Exactly. I bet they wouldn't laugh at any pranks that endangered their physical health. Frankly, who cares if they respect Tim, the question is, does Tim respect them. I was his tail as a child and went with him everywhere, people knew me as the apple of his eye. Take it from someone who has a nonexistent relationship with their sibling due to failed communications, it's not worth it. They literally admitted to attempted murder, I mean the husband could always put a stop to those challenges but the fact that they hid the inhaler is unforgivable. The fact that Tim tolerated their bullying for so long without dumping you or calling the cops was awful. I wouldnt only ban them from my wedding Id stop talking to them entirely. Of course not, bullies are inherently cowards. He shouldn't have to be subjected to them for the rest of his life. What they have done to him is downright CRIMINAL. For me, the slashed tires would be the moment where I call the police. Life saving medication! They literally could have killed him. Perhaps we just have very different perspectives on this. I hadnt thought about it in those terms, but that is exactly what they were doing. Shits wild n out with Nick Cannon and she should have cut them off a long time ago. If my partners familt slashed my tirrs as a "test" I would have RUN from you and your toxic family! If you have a son, do you want your family to test him this way? Also if she had to beg and beg for you to go with her she may have assumed you didn't want to come and she was relieving you of a burden when she cancelled. That's a girl color! they are very incompatible when it comes to family matters. Judge, it was just a joke! Im sorry but the men in your life sound like misogynist AHs, leave them in the dust where they belong. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: i am thinking about uninviting my sister from my mothers birthday dinner because she abruptly left me to go to the concert with someone else. Yeah youre not the asshole for that but you are the asshole. Woah. Even if they apologize, this oversized kids need to understand there are consequences to their action, even if they are jOkEs. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Buy wedding insurance first, add the cancellation policy, then cancel so lost deposits are covered by insurance wedsafe.com (am a wedding planner). Seriously. Do you live in some backwoods place? If someone stole my inhaler and hid it as a prank I would be furious, it isnt funny to not be able to breathe properly. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/AmItheAsshole, Comments are in random ordering and vote scores are hidden. madera county sheriff log 2022 cigna stock price history; hornby r3207. Privacy Policy. NTA. Don't let his presence tarnish a day that is meant to celebrate how amazing and strong you are. Fun, but definitely dont do this. I wonder how they were planning to bring the house down at the actual wedding. Be basically disowned his great grandparents and is very mad that my mom still does stuff with them. This doesnt sound like pranking but more like bullying. When are they going to stop bullying and tormenting? Cousin asked if "little timmy ran to me to tattle". If there's any chance of any form of healing this extended family it's by them realising how badly they've messed up, and them having to "man up" to take the consequences of their actions could be what's needed. I wouldnt want them near me on my wedding day. Vandalisim at the very least? Your male family members sound like toxic sexist AH, who love bullying under the pretense of how manly they are. You joke, but men let their toxic/insecure masculinity come between them and lifesaving healthcare. Call them out intellectually or use their fear against them they retract. Seriously what would have happened if he needed his inhaler desperately and he couldn't get at it? This!!! That could have been fatal. Cousin asked if "little timmy ran to me to tattle". That is what they are clear and simple and now their pranks have turned deadly. I dont know what they intend to prove but they only proved they are mean AH. Yeah driving 7 hours without an inhaler could have gotten him, someone else, or both killed if he passed out behind the wheel. Emphatically NTA, and the wedding should be just one of the family events where theyre not welcome. He wants YOU to drive a wedge between you two and your family but he's too much of an actual "real man" to ask you to make that kind of decision. No, they crossed into criminal behavior with the slashing of the tires. OP your brother father and uncle all sound terrible with a very strange idea of what constitutes manliness. Demanding they stop was step 1, but she should have done more. Hes marrying you. Cut ties with everyone, save your poor poor fiance more pain then the abuse he already went trough for you, and apologize to him in behalf of your family. I can see it nowwife make my grandson a pb and j sandwich (cause we know he wouldn't make it himself) cause he needs to just get over this or its for attention when his airway closes..NTA. But they were also educated, kind, accepting, loyal. Im really fired up over this apparently. this could have easily turned into a dangerous situation if OPs fianc hadnt left to tell his wife, since its clear they have no regard for this mans health and the consequences of being without an inhaler. I am assuming your fiance has been putting up with this out of respect for you and your family. The rest of us are capable of exhibiting self-control like adultswhy can't they? And to add, men who are testing his manliness are the exact kind of men that dont have a clue what it means to be a real man. Cut them off and reported them for property damage to law enforcement. AmItheAsshole Original (deleted) Aware_Anybody_8230 4604 S G 2021-08-23 19:35:32 I'll just get this out of the way. Interesting how these "pranks" appear to involve illegal activity. But Tim is a Saint he has put up with that bullying. Privacy Policy. Not this shit. I would have been outta there after being forced to play chess. i dont listen to this artist but she begged (and i mean BEGGED) me to buy a ticket and go with her because nobody else would (shed already asked her other step-sister before asking me). Saving this comment and links because this makes me think of my own dad so much right now. ETA: please tell me they paid for the tyres. And it sounds like typically the women enable it. slashing tires is not a prank, it's a crime, hiding someone's medical device/medication (especially if prescribed) is also a crime, not a prank, Pranks mean no one gets hurt, this isnt pranking this is straight up bullying. Screw the wedding, you should never speak to these people again. Shes just found her breaking point to realizing its not and her soon to be husband was the person who showed her. Hiding an inhaler? Stick to your guns. Imagine the boundaries theyll cross when you have children! If your mother had no input in this I'd have gone with E-S-H instead. The only third option is that you stop this dangerous behavior. Slashing tires costs money and time and possibly work. This is what I was thinking. NTA - Hiding someone's inhaler is not a harmless prank! This isnt a prank anymore and abuse. I already knew that answer after you said they slashed his tires, NTA. See how they liked it. These people are sick, and they stay in a pack to reinforce each others sickness. NTA these are not pranks, this is just immature and terrible behavior. Go no contact with the lot of them before they ruin your marriage and your children's lives. How do they not realize that?! Everyone here takes the right choice as a foregone conclusion, but Id spend days having a panic attack if that was thrust on me. Do not let mum, brother and friends tell you otherwise. Wow, what the fuck?? Cut them off, OP. If they can't see this then they're sick in the head! They arent pranksters, theyre abusive assholes. Im surprised Timmy stuck around for as long as he did. Since I assume none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma? He would be better off using the money to wipe his ass than spend it on her, Lol she let him pay the wedding and then invites him lol I hope stepdad cuts her out too, How directly the fare there so many NTA and ESH?`, Let me guess, most have some variation of "It's YOUR wedding!!!!". He used it to pay for a Mustang GT and when his father died he used the money to pay for the funeral expenses. NTA. Growing up i was a daddy's girl, I was his password, wallpaper and profile picture child. Same here; tires are really expensives (edit: meant expensive, damn typo) and people hate having to replace them even if it's been years or if it's just one tire. We had a friend die from cancer, because he never went to the doctor for his yearly blood work and checkup. He was my hero. It's easy to spot the black things, harder to see the greys and off whites. Its not something my doctor (who happens to also have mild asthma of the forget it exists then you get a cold and your inhaler is expired type) and I have put in our shared stories of nearly, but not entirely, outgrown asthma. His entire family has disowned me and they're all blocked on my phone after sending me awful messages. A's far as the wedding issue. OOP can fucking choke. Your family will never like or accept him (or possibly any guy you bring home as they sound toxic af).